Most of us would rank healthy relationships high on the list. Except for knowing Christ and having eternal life, healthy relationships makes life enjoyable perhaps more than anything else. You can make a pile of money, but if your relationships are broken or shallow, your life will be empty. A poor man with a loving family and good friends is far richer than a man who is poor relation-ally.
Jesus thought us in the bible according to (Matt. 22:37-40) that we should love God with all our heart, and that we should also love our neighbor as ourselves. A loving relationship with God is of First importance; but loving relationships with others is second. The Bible is all about this two important relationships.
It's so sad because many believers still have hurting or broken relationships. Many Christian homes has been shattered by divorce. Some who stay married are unhappy, their homes are a tense battle ground, not a loving refuge. Many christian parents are at odds with their kids and kids with their parents. On the church level, some bounce from church to church, leaving trail of damaged relationships behind. There are some people in church; many of them call themselves ministers of God, but they still keep malice with their fellow people, some backbite, some gossip, and the likes. Sadly, the loving families, genuine friendships, and healthy relationships that we want most out of life often elude us.
Apostle Paul gives the prescription for healthy relationships. If you consistently practice these qualities, you'll have healthy relationships. I know that sometimes, some people might be hard to get along with, even Paul acknowledged that in the book of (Rom. 12:18). But often if you treat a difficult person with the qualities that Paul enumerates in our text, he/she will change for the better in how he relates with you.
But this qualities aren't easy medicines to take, because to develop these qualities, "you've got to kill all immorality, impurity, passion, evil desires, and greed" - (Col 3:5), "You've got to put aside all anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive words, and lying"- (Col 3:8-9). And you've got to put on "A heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other"- (Col. 3:12b-13).
Paul First gives the basis for the commands which is as follows, namely, how God has treated us:
God has graciously chosen us in love to be set apart to Himself.
(Col 3:12a) "So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved...." Because we have laid aside the old man (What we were in Adam) and have put on the new man (What we now are in Christ, both individually and corporately), and because in this new corporate man, old differences no longer matter, but Christ is all and in all, therefore, we should put on the qualities listed here. God's treatment of us is the basis for our treatment of others. God has chosen us in Love to be set apart to Himself when we weren't worthy of His Love. Secure in His gracious, unfathomable love, we're able to treat one another with the qualities listed here.
2. We should treat others with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and forgiveness.
Actually, there are five nouns: Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and forgiveness; which are probably set in contrast to the five sins in verse 5, and the five other sins in verse 8. "Bearing with one another and forgiving each other" describe the way in which those five virtues are put into practice.
Secondly, all these character qualities are modeled in Jesus Christ; He was kind and compassionate (Matt 9:36; 14:14), humble and gentle (Matt 11:29), patient, forbearing, and forgiving (1 Pet 2:23; Luke 23:34). He is our great example of how to relate with others. As we learn to put on these qualities, we're really putting on the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 13:14) and becoming more like him.
Conclusion
So, because God graciously chose us in love to be set apart to Himself, we should treat others with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance and forgiveness. His gracious, loving treatment of us is the basis for our treatment of others.
You might be wondering. "Where do I start from, what do i do next?" You may need to begin by focusing on your relationship with God first. Have you trusted in Christ as your Lord and personal Savior so that you've truly experienced His forgiveness, mercy, and love? You can't love others as you should until you're rightly related to God.
Prayer Points
O lord my Father, give me the grace to exhibit these qualities, and to also love others as I love Myself.
O lord give me the grace to love you more and more each day.